The best rules are those that tell keiki what they can do, not what they can't do. For example, "don't run" tells your keiki what you don't want so maybe they crawl instead. Then you are frustrated because he is still not doing what it is you want. When you say "walk with me" then he knows exactly what behavior you want and it is easier for him to comply.
Keiki under the age of two do not need rules, their brains have not developed to the point where they understand cause and effect. So for keiki under two the best discipline is to set them up to succeed.
Child proof your home. When he wants to do something you don't want, in a firm voice tell him "no" and distract him with a toy or other activity that he can do.
Keiki over the age of two can start learning rules as long as you don't give them too many and you keep them simple. Continue to child proof. The less you have to tell your keiki no the less frustrated both of you will be.
You should have maybe 3 or 4 basic house rules. For example "Put your toys on the shelf before bedtime" is a clear rule. It says exactly what you want. "Put your toys away is not as specific" it doesn't way where to put the toys nor by what time. You will probably have to help them put their toys away for awhile. Make it into a game as well as learning. "Put all the red blocks away first". "Do you want to put away your cars or your books first?"
When you have too many rules keiki have a hard time remembering them (and so do you!) Once you have decided on your rules all adults in the house must enforce them consistently. You cannot be too tired or too busy. Therefore, make sure your rules are ones you can enforce.
Rules must be about behavior only. You cannot have a rule about attitude. It is impossible to enforce a rule like, be happy.
When you are going out of the house, to auntie's house or to the store for example, tell your child before you get there what the rules are for that particular occasion.
One mistake parents often make is they ask their child, when they really want to tell them. When you say, "Do you want to put your toys away?" you are giving your child permission to say no. When you say, "Son, put your clothes in the hamper, ok?" you are still giving permission to say "no". In a firm voice clearly tell your child "Put your toys on the shelf" "Put your dirty clothes in the hamper". You will be giving them plenty of other opportunities to make choices and say no about non disciplinary issues.
Yelling rarely works. Make sure your keiki is paying attention to you, look her in the eye and speak clearly and firmly.
Don't forget to praise your keiki for completing the task. Even though you think they should what you tell her, your keiki wants and needs your approval. "Thank you for putting your slippers away" tells your keiki they not only did what she were supposed to, you noticed and appreciate it.
You should have fewer behavior problems if you have a few specific rules that you enforce on a consistent basis and you praise your child when you catch them being.
